Epilogue

On this Earth Day, unlike many others- individuals to organizations, I have no agenda. Instead I would like to speak about April. 

April is November in reverse. November withdraws, April approaches. While November is frightening, April can but merely be threatening.  It was in April, six years back, when I made my first solo trip to the Adirondack mountains. Coming to this place without any friends, not just for fun, not for group hiking with a checklist, but just being there- helped convince me of the importance of not having any agenda. If love was to be truly loved, it was meant to be in this land in April.  Now it has been two years, two Aprils, that I have been living on this land. And I wish to spend the rest of my Aprils in this land, bereft of agenda. And any good, which I always wish and strive for- for the land or anyone else, is merely a by-product of my actions.

* The following, follows from ‘Seeking November’ https://saikatchakra.wordpress.com/2023/01/15/seeking-november/

I waited for one infinity
-with my black dog4

Aji e probhat e rabir kar
       Kemone poshilo praner por
Kemone poshilo guhar aadhare probhat-pakhir gaan
Na jani keno re eto din pore jagiya uthilo pran6

We are in the month of April. The light is strong, but the season is wrong.

I was waiting for the revolution to come down in sleet, another month for the blood to thicken- in the thin of things. Before I could summon the hatred necessary to inflict the necessary, the ice was out. As if that was not enough, the speckled alder budded. The fever broke. Pus oozed out of the maples.

I was older in November. I am younger in April. 
I found ballads in all the places I came baying for blood.

We cannot know both the position and momentum of a subatomic particle with perfect accuracy.7

As I am being recklessly restored, a student comes and declares the bird they have met.

Wail wail wail tremolo yodel hoot wail wail
Not one she’s seen.
One bird she’s met.
One.

April is for greeting each one anew.

The first trillium
before the meadow takes over.
The first loon that serenades you
The last shard of ice that this lake offers to you.

And what must we do with this bounty?

This, you must learn, that April too has no value
For it was given to you,
And you must give it away.
The brown, passing through, makes space for the green.

References

  1. Bloom by Emily Dickinson
  2. The Waste Land by T.S. Eliot
  3. O Me! O Life! by Walt Whitman
  4. adapted from Mahabharata
  5. adapted from The White Man’s Burden by Rudyard Kipling
  6. Nirjhorer Swapnobhongo by Rabindranath Thakur
  7. Heisenberg’s Uncertainty Principle

Revolution- expanded

Remember me, I used to be a rebel,
soar the azure skies,
and climb the high tides
I have crossed the seven seas,
and the thirteen rivers.

Remember me, I used to live for new smells,
tread on fresh soils.
and play the fancy electrophones
I have searched the world,
and scourged myself.

Now I live for the old spices,
and the graying dog.
the boundaries have dissolved,
and I am ready for communion.

I throw the stick into the water. Moose, the dog, bolts past, making ripples.
I like to call them Moose ripples.

He brings it back.
I throw it again.
He brings it back.
I throw it yet again.

He does not tire.

All I can do is try-
keep up with him.

The eternal game continues-
each time with a different Moose ripple
in the space-time continuum.

They say insanity is doing the same thing over and over expecting different results.
That is true of expectations. Not of repetition.

The eternal game continues-
every time a different Moose ripple.

I do not know why.

All I can leave you with is this – 
I do not need to know why to understand it. I do not need to understand to feel it.
Above all, it does not need to mean anything to feel it.

Far too often, meaningful work, or the illusion of it, gets in the way of living.

I have barely started to live.

“Let the beauty we love be what we do.
There are hundreds of ways to kneel and kiss the ground.” – Rumi


All I need to do is show up by the lake with a good stick.


I shall make the right image.
I shall invent the most useless words that you will understand.
And they will mean nothing.